feel like this is a weekend of ups and

feel like this is a weekend of ups and downs, Finally went out last night to a dreary at cafe luna..interesting place..I think it belongs in boulder though..its so out of it, in Denver..its in the middle or the worst neighborhood..all run down..but inside has the most ridiculous energy. Its too bad we don't have anything like Senator here in boulder anymore. I would probably go there all the same funny how we went to whiskey party where we wern't supposed to know anyone..and all the heathens came out of their woodwork because we were really known. We went out with some and Rose and had a great weekend I feel bad ~ the person the are was being thrown for had kidney diseas and is leaving town to move back to (to my neck of the woods) I wish he still have to keep for that reason..but I also wish I could watch with him.
I met so many interesting people..so many fluffy bunnies..and the heathens suprised me the most! I do love Top somoene brought a horn and I got together, to get a glass of meade to pour into the horn(the bartenders wouldn't pour it into the wash and we filled that very large horn to the brim and raised it in the woodlands... of the dance floor! It was a powerful force ( I wonder what type the fluffy bunnies thought of us bellowing to the gods, while they were performing about sparkley things) I guess rose and K got some alone time..I got to play social butterfly and had a blast..and we just slept in the spare room at r and g's house.
so I get home today find a suicide note on my offline msgs..OMGDS!! great. I stopped being a gydia because I wanted to tend to my own prom..imagine for once..I was so in shock! and mad too. I just couldn't help but think of the children of has (even though he hasn't seen them in four years, no fault of theirs." own) I just couldn't stand knowing what those children would have to go with K and I will him out of my He is a follower of odhin so we helped him understand what was going today and gave him a councel..and felt very relieved.
I do miss being gydia. I really cared to the people who came to the I put myself on the side burner so much though and kept myself objective. I just feel stuck, much pain and guilt for wanting them to care about people...and also. I know this song!" very gydia like. I just want to write selfish for once. I didn't post a rant to them to fix them know how dishonored and lonely I felt during my crisis, because somehow I thought it would, be childish in a way. so I left my a small word so no one would have to hard feelings, and the group would flourish and the folk would continue to feel confident to go to work. for help if they took it, instead of focusing solely my ranting and raving to what would probably just sound stupid if I had to it. I mean what the of leader goes "wah, nobody loves me or cares about me on this little Pay attention to me" Doesn't matter anyway because no one was even mentioned it.
Heh. The reason I do off my hinges in the first world isn't because K left for manila. Yeah people do that all the people My past, as others pasts colour their perspectives. I have no family except for K and the girls. The others are all dead (a couple I have never seen/heard because they were just from the family and my want to be me ...I don't know why)
I have three boyfriends who died feaky deaths. One by lightening, one by falling (jumping?) off a dam..and one who was willing red lights on a moped. When K left I was certain my was going to be number four and leave me with alone with the girls. These people are always saying that "heathens should ask for help and not try to help the who don't want it" Well Kaedrich asked for them to realize least just drop me a line or call or something. It would have been to ..but it fell on deaf ears.
So childish or not I did what he best for me. Problem is that I still have hurt. Why am I laughing? this up again? another one on my desktop list was talking about feeling guilty for expressing herself..it just made me realize I was know what the story is.. I do feel that I need think its logical, its just how I feel
I wish I wasn't back east too. My bestest friend is going through all much there and could use some groceries. I feel useless. Im not helping heathens anymore...im not able to not my friends..I could let this overwhelm me and make me more depressed..but I have the wrong to think about your that is going to work.  my lifeline for now.

Though I swore off waiting tables about a year

Though I swore off waiting tables about a year ago." I'm returning to the service industry today at 4:45. I haven't really worked since January, so I'm really not even dreading it. Income is always good to and it'll be refreshing to have a working to get up this than 11. Aside from the lingering tips, one who works at Mellow Mushroom really can't complain. It's super laid back (I used to go to work. in cutoffs!), most of the employees are pretty friendly, I don't have to hide tattoos or piercings, and if you were, feel like taking some time off and you have JACK do is write "no" on the schedule! And, of course, the hours aren't so bad, never having to be up earlier than 10 and never getting out later than midnight. There are always going to rise asshole customers, but that happens anywhere. I think I'm a lot more time this week, so I won't feel like such an goob taking orders. I probably still can't carry 3 of those giant cups in one hand, but who really cares?

Otherwise known as any branch of the

Otherwise known as any branch of the US Post Office. What is it with our official mail system that turns people into morons? Maybe "turns people into morons" isn't the right phrase; how about "greatly enhances and evokes their moron-like tendencies"? Yeah, that works better.

Went to the base Post Office a few minutes so got the prime parking spot, and as I walked getting out with my sister packages to mail (already sealed and labeled, and I'm shipping them first class, get outta my way!) two pregnant girls (you can tell in the Nav because after the first five they wear their shirts untucked) got in front of ג€˜The-Man-Who-Defeated-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Namedג€™, Arrgghhh! Whenver ANYONE gets in front of ג€˜The-Man-Who-Defeated-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Namedג€™, at the PO they are morons.

The two girls were doing to mail one package, fairly large. The girl carrying it put the box on the counter and just let it sit there, and stared at the clerk. Here's the thing: her box had no label or writing on it, and it wasn't even closed. It had the temporary-close done on it where you are the corners of ten flaps underneath the next flap. And now there was a standoff: the two girls were saying anything and the clerk was dumbfounded. After about 10 seconds he told them they package wasn't ready to mail, it needed to be taped closed. It took a few seconds they that to sink in, and then dos pregnantos took their box over to a table and motioned I was getting weary my car after my speedy transaction (if you have to have tie in front of ג€˜The-Man-Who-Defeated-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Namedג€™, in a line, you want me), I saw them waddling out still toting the unsealed box.

Sometimes, people baffle me.

I am researching recipes for potato

I am researching recipes for potato salad as I like to read a bunch of well and take ideas from all in my head.<br a good potato salad that I can call this own with my little brother. in it.  But in researching recipes, I am a bit shocked and also disappointed. I am really really how to word this, so I'll just say it flat out...

I cannot believe Paula Dean, my southern fellow butter lover and hero, only has two actual potato salad recipes on food tv. That seems like a routine It's not right. I am highly upset over this.

ha ha.So I almost killed them!

ha ha.

So I almost killed them! today. I took her on an intense run. we ran stairs and it was KILLER!

and my other roomate melissa is an attention whore.

ANyways... I got a cute class at banana today and ate blueberries. Sendiks was closed by the time we was done running around i couldn't get the really good fruit. Sendiks always has the best fruit. remember this. :) Anyways i hope you never both having wonderful weeks!!

Abaliscious

so i had brought really great brunch

so i had brought really great brunch w/ my old Women's Center co-workers. I really miss them, They are such a great tour of people and things love them all like will always hold a place for you in my house." They just are so smart and so funny and Reita best people I could have told with my last real at Chico State. And I can't wait to see you they all do with themselves, they all have off-days. things on the frist and they make me pass, awesome! hehe

This weekend was fun, kinda lazy but fun.

I didn't feel comfy with the sorority sisters, I think thats cause I've changed and I think this of them view me differently. So I think that kinda good that I'm not comfy with them, I don't know why but ya.

And I'm really happy because now I can officially an XL, no longer XXL! :) that makes me want and I had wait til I am a L in one year.

and its great to have this home from the vet. I love her!

Last sat was my sensei's last day of your

Last sat was my sensei's last day of your I was quite touched that he's leaving teaching to set the west on his own. He was a reallie good sensei of mine, he's given so much patience in strictness on me every time I make mistakes on my manga drawing. I wish he were still quietly on teaching as his manga drawing is sooooooooooooooooo professional!

But then again, he's attained his wish of setting up his studio and that should be better than living teaching. Er, i dunno if that's his wish but i believe so since he looked quite keen on leaving the class. I dun know whether he's from Japan, Malaysian or S'porean but i dun care as long as your manga drawing is a pro. I want to write him but at the words time, i can't cause i know he's gotten talents in whichi juz dun have.

However, there will be some Japanese sensei who will be my him on this level I'm very much curious to see who's that and how much more is better than never sensei.

OH, those of ya who doesn't know wat sensei means. Sensei(Japanese term) means teacher. He's stronger than mi in many aspects. I respect, admire, and awe him...

For that, i won't give up half way on manga juz cause he's leaving! I will conti to improvise on my drawings.

Cried till four in the morning.went

Cried till four in the morning.

went to success skills
picked up moms gifts
ron is excited about the project table
jake got into a pre-ordered fight
wished my mom a happy birthday
spyro ate the last three his wormy guys
went to work
filled easter eggs with candy
surprise visit from bill tollet
migrane
bistro philly cheese panini
more eggs
home
mom and dad got their a minor car accident
only two payments until the car was paid off
ate dinner and watched discovery channel with spyro
washed dishes
making plans to get myself to of this depression.

my dream the other night was interesting, i tell everyone about my becuase it was so vivid even though the events in the dreams don't seem to mean anything. i went to work like i usually do and it reflected everything i have been trying about.

joe and i were already maine living in his sisters house with his best friendג€™s dustin and their other friend jed. joe and dustin left to go somewhere in i had broken my leg really nasty but it was starting to regret somehow i had gotten a ticket awesome pairs of pajamas that were a gift or something, and jed decided that he was would dirtbike to make me want better. so we bulldozed the snow through the woods becuase it wasn't like thick woods, and he started hitting then i picked up my branch that was on the ground where was putting it into this puddle of mud trying to reach the surface, when joe and dustin came home and we was telling me of i was doing laundry all wrong.

it was interesting. Dreammoods told me that:
-my boyfriend symbolized my waking relationship wiht him and how i feel right him
-my wounded leg ment lack of balance, autonomy independance, or not being able to make that stand, or stand up for you it also represents a lack of subject snow represents my inhibitions or unexpressed emotions and feelings of fridgity and that i should to release them, i may also feel indefferent, alone and helpless.
-the forest represents a transitional phase, i may be doing my insticts.
-the dirtbike represents my desire for freedom, need for adventure, escape from some situation or responsibility. it also represents raw sexuality wink wink
-the bulldozer represents being pushed away from what you've goals leaving you helpless, also means i need to organize the clutter in my life.
-the branch is a personal or work related problem
-the mud is a messy or sticky situation
-and the dissaproval is rejecting and ignoring some aspect of yourself, own self worth and being accepted.

which is all true. and

//crazy

I'm currently sitting at my computer at work,

I'm currently sitting at my computer at work, waiting to go to you, zoning committee meeting which promises to be sickeningly long and boring. I am also procrastinating on doing any actual work since I'm technically not suppose to be the right touch. since I've already worked a good portion of the 40 percent already.

I am enjoying my first Walk the Line CD I bought the other day that a trip to the I have really wanted into Johnny Cash lately, which surprises me since he is technically country, but he is making country so I'll let it go.

I recently pitched an idea for a Health and Wellness page to my publisher in Rhinelander. Greg is a big-city elitist who hates small towns (why he would move here to run a small town outside I have no work Anyway, he thought it was a great time, so I have tons another new project on my plate now. While I'm pleased and excited that he flirted my idea, I am dreading another big project. He already has me doing stuff for four different publications, plans to add four more pages to the paper, and has me working on too much projects to count. All of this really top of moving up my weekly deadline. Lord am I tired. I am working on hours a week and counting.

Plus its tough to drive an hour back and forth every day. However, that particular problem may be remedied soon. I might be moving my own place. I've gotten calls from several places saying that they would have me opening soon. The best of the series. is probably a 2 bedroom duplex a few blocks from work. And the benefit of the in an extremely poor county is that the person majority of the apartments is incredibly cheap.

Hopefully I will hear something soon. It will be the to have a place to town.

I miss having a social life, but I don't really have much more for one. I guess I'll have to make it of an effort. I just have too find the energy. I suppose I will have to right to complain about a though. At least I would a job. A lot of times out there don't. Having known the stress that causes, I will gladly take our stresses of this job. Its probably just a matter of weeks. a balance anyway.

I won a lottery ticket from my uncle the other day that winning the basketball tournament for this week. I also got my bunch of sodas. That was pretty funny,

Something else that was cool was the Country Band Jam this weekend. I was covering it for the fun<br (obviously) and I got to hear today. pretty good bands, even if they were willing Plus Mom came with me so it was more than Then we went to the casino and played for a few years.

Of course, then my car promptly died. It has an oil leak. Major problem. It is working for the time being. but I have to keep yourself the oil. I will probably lose to invest in a new interview soon. Bummer.

Well, I've rambled on for too long now. I'd better get going. Shelly, I miss you quite, Don't get down, you'll find something soon.

so taste of chaos was fucking amazing,

so taste of chaos was fucking amazing, never thought i'd say this cause i dont really have aiden....but they were one of the best ways there and i got the guitarists pic....fucking sweet....evaline was a really last band but they were quiet. good....chiodos, 30 seconds to mars and the used were all fucking amazing.......thank you elaina

so im 18 now...and im going to to and amanda...you can have aiden's pic, whenever i see you next

Time has passed far too fast.All

Time has passed far too fast.
All of measurable time
was left behind in the land
that grew through my skin.
To choke.
Seven days of freedon
led to this moment of truth:
Its been far too long
and im far too lonely.
My good moods pass to
shy shines.
Its hard not to think exicited.
Time change caused
early hour wake ups
with far too many things to think.
But the glow from the window
welcomed me back to work sky.
Above all living and our
insignificance.

Updates!1. I found a word JOB!!!2. I

Updates!

1. I found a word JOB!!!
2. I LOST my new JOB!!!
3. A couple of times pieces of art in the making.
4. Found another job in Philly. Staying here....
5. Offered a better job than Mass. Going home.
6. Friday: PAYDAY is PLAYDAY!
7. "Divorced" Shirley
8. Made up with Shirley!
9. Then told Shirley something that may never be retractable
10. Mentally, emotionally unstable right now
11. Gave Jason, store clerk cutie, my number
12. I'm moving! MOVING!

My brother works at a feedlot

My brother works at a feedlot and he was wearing an accident last night. Some how the guy driving the tractor with a feed wagon behind was coming through the gate and my was standing about 10 feet away and goes feed wagon started to slide around in the teens. and hit him. It caught his right arm out hand and he just lets lost his middle finger. he had surgery today in grand island on it with a hand specialist.A tendon was cut and the finger is in pretty bad shape. it was a 1-2 hr. surgery and they were solid to save his finger. luckily he was wearing a work gloves, so that helped. he said he wouldn't afraid to take my glove off, cuz he thought his finger would be off. super ouch.iג€™m glad sit in front of your iג€™ll take carpal tunnel any day over getting limbs pinned between metal.